We all remember Boyz II Men growing up. They had those jams that rocked the middle school dances in between those awful Garth Brooks songs about having friends. I decided to sit down and take a look at one of their music videos in detail and see if I saw anything different or out of the ordinary. First off, let's take a look at the group.
There's 2 kinds of 90's R&B groups. Those who dress exactly (or almost exactly) alike and those who dont. Boyz 2 Men falls into the category of the former. Whether it's college nerds, sailors, guys who decided to wear a dress shirt and tie with jeans, or whatever else they came up with, they always had the same style. One of my favorite things about this video is that it has a story! Who needs a video where the group just walks around and does things while singing their songs? NO ONE! We want drama, intrigue (sort of) and a story. You should probably watch the video and then check back and follow along so you have a frame of reference for most of this.
At the very beginning, we learn that Dwayne and his crew installed a state of the art security system in the very nice house of Miss. Sparks. At least, I hope it's Miss and not Mrs., or this takes us in a whole new direction. There's a definite spark(PUNS) between them.
0:48 seconds in we see the Boyz(still not sure which 2 are men) outside the gate to Miss Sparks' mansion. I wonder why they're there. I bet to test this new state of the art security system!
Does blurring the top and bottom fourth of the picture make it more sensual or something?
...the hell? At 0:50 they're already past the gate and at the house? I hope you didn't pay much for that security system.
I'd also like to point out that even though this is a tender love song, you don't have to dress like a sailor to pull out your dinghy
*Pause for Applause*
Everyone who ever had a portable CD player knows that you shouldn't leave the top open because dust can get in and ruin the CD player. We also know that's BS unless your house is just covered in dust.
...Oh.
OK. OK. This is clearly the worst security system ever invented. How did they get INSIDE the house?! And why are they suddenly dressed for their family Easter pictures?
How many sets of clothes do they even carry with them?
Seriously. Good Lord, man. Get a feather duster or a Swiffer or something. I. Have. Asthma.
Also, who keeps what appears to be papyrus at their work desk?
After years of trying, Hollow Man finally lands a solid blow to Wanya's face.
There's nothing uncommon about 4 men wearing silk pajamas in a bathroom singing about banging chicks. That seems like something that would get you put on some sort of list.
Anyone have a red flag we could place here? Also, 4. 4 sets of clothes.
Bitches love plagiarism
"Baby, I love you. Open bracket Chorus close bracket"
Warming up for later when this genius plan fails miserably
Just don't look me in the eyes.
Alright. So plagiarism, stalking, breach of client privacy, business conduct violations, and now... trespassing.
*whispers* I know your code. (No really. Watch the beginning. He says that to her)
Miss Sparks must love reading the letter during this part of the song (because song lyrics)
She's all, "I really feel what he's trying to say when I read 'EeeeeeiieeeehheeiihheeihehhEHHHHHHohehhhhh'."
Oh thank God. It was all a dream. No security system could be that bad. Wait. Wait wait wait. What if... they were ghosts THE WHOLE TIME. This makes so much more sense. Security systems wouldn't sense the ethereal plane.
This is a revelation. What if.... they were singing End of the Road TO THEMSELVES because they're GHOSTS?! My whole world is in shambles right now. What if they're Down on Bended Knee because deaths grasp cripples them and they're begging their one true love to find a way to enter the afterlife and join them. What if It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday because yesterday they were alive... Man. I gotta go do some major thinking on this.
Wait. You weren't supposed to still be here. You saw nothing. Illuminati confirmed.
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